It’s all about sexuality, not vaginas or porn: The Anne Frank controversy and our denial of female sexuality

The story that a parent in Northville, Michigan filed a formal complaint with the local School Board after her 7th Grade daughter was assigned to read “Anne Frank: The Diary of a Young Girl“, has the Jewish and the general blogosphere buzzing with indignation.

The  world’s most famous holocaust book is made up of several versions of an honest and well-written diary that Anne Frank kept while she was a young teenager living in a cramped apartment with a few other families, hiding from the Nazis. They were found and she died in a concentration camp. Her father published an edited version after the war which was made into a play and a movie. An unedited version was released in 1995, after Otto Frank’s death containing parts that were deemed too private in 1947.

The passage that alarmed the mother of the middle-schooler was:

Until I was eleven or twelve, I didn’t realize there was a second set of labia on the inside, since you couldn’t see them. What’s even funnier is that I thought urine came out of the clitoris … When you’re standing up, all you see from the front is hair. Between your legs there are two soft, cushiony things, also covered with hair, which press together when you’re standing, so you can’t see what’s inside. They separate when you sit down and they’re very red and quite fleshy on the inside. In the upper part, between the outer labia, there’s a fold of skin that, on second thought, looks like a kind of blister. That’s the clitoris.

The mother, Gail Horalek, called it pornographic.  It is not. It is merely an accurate description of the vulva. Ms. Horalek’s reaction is more common than we like to think as we are very uncomfortable with women’s and girls sexuality. Note that the passages about the menstrual cycle were not upsetting to this mother. Vaginas are ok to talk about in terms of  male sexual pleasure, fertility or in their role as the birth canal. It is specifically because the parts that are mentioned in the passage are those that are commonly associated with female sexual pleasure that upset this mother. Does she think that while reading this her daughter or her friends might discover pleasurable aspects of their anatomy that they would not otherwise have known about?

But what struck me as proof of the depth of this problem of our deep discomfort with female sexuality  is that many of the blog posts and articles decrying this attempted censorship from a feminist point of view unwittingly participated in it.

Let’s look at their titles:

Suburban Detroit Mom Says No to Reading about Anne Frank’s Vagina (Jewlicious)

School district pulls Anne Frank’s diary over ‘vagina’ passage | Alternet

Anne Frank’s Diary Too ‘Pornographic’ For 7th-Grade Students …

from a previous, similar controversy:

Anne Frank’s Diary Pulled Off School Shelves Over A Vagina

Anne Frank book banned because of the word “VAGINA“ – Godlike …

Virginia Schools: Anne Frank’s Diary Too Sexual For Adolescents

Diary of Anne Frank pulled for “vagina” passage « Sex Hysteria!

It is not reading about a vagina that upset Ms. Horalek. It is reading about Anne Frank’s vulva and clitoris that upset her. The vagina is not mentioned in the passage above. If we are going to look down on someone for being uncomfortable with basic human physiology, then we probably should be using the correct terms ourselves. Calling the vulva a vagina is part of our discomfort with female sexuality. ( For a full discussion of why this is so see  V is for… )

Many girls and boys grow up thinking that girls use their vaginas to pee, for example, which they do not. This is because parents usually refer to the vulva as a girl’s vagina. We do not pee out of a vagina, shave it, or see it (unless we have some medical devices or are very invasive). ( For a full discussion of why this see V is for… )

My children use the correct terms.  So sure criticize this woman and her censorship. But take a look in the mirror as well.

The hijacking of Judaism: victims and consequences

Shoshanna Jaskoll writes a beautiful, heartfelt, impassioned lament and alarm for the destruction of what was once a wide spectrum of thought and observance within what was Orthodox Judaism. (If you think angry laments  that cry for justice are beautiful, which I do).

I have been spat on and called a whore myself

I have stood beside a friend as she fought to be freed from a man she has not seen in years- her fate controlled by men she does not know

I have witnessed men telling women how they must dress

I have seen women telling other women how they must dress

I have seen women’s and girls’ faces blurred from magazines and ads

I have watched as females are completely removed from public signage

I have watched as women & girls were relegated to the back of the bus

I have heard from women being attacked for being where men didn’t want them to be

I have seen women arrested and jailed for wearing a tallit

I have seen women unable to accept awards for their own work in public

I have seen women banned from presenting their own research at a conference on fertility. (The rest is here )

This fundamentalist movement  is pushing out more and more of ‘Modern” Orthodox Jews, who do not want to subjugate women.

I would say  answer is to push back and be strong, to say “No – I will not follow any of the rulings of rabbis who treat women this way. I will not accept their Beit Din as valid. My sons and husband will not study at yishivot or schools or attend any shiuim where people who treat women this way are accepted. None of my tzedakah go to any institution who does not publicly come out against this. ” But I do not think this will happen. As the men won’t really go along with it.

The crux of the problem, for me, is that you will never be completely safe from this subjugation of women when your view of religion gives the decision-making power to men.

She writes at the end:

the Ladies, demand your rights. Men, be right there with us.

Those with power, elect Rabbanim and Dayanim that have true Torah knowledge, broad shoulders, humility, and respect.

Those with power in that list Rabbanim and Dayaim are exclusively men (or if we are giving leeway for the far left of the Orthodox spectrum, wildly predominately men) .

and THAT, fundamentally, is the problem.

First Ultra-Orthodox Sex-Segregated Playground Opens –Compare to Saudi Arabia.

First Ultra-Orthodox Sex-Segregated Playground Opens –Compare to  Saudi Arabia.

The Sisterhood Reports:

The reportedly first sex-segregated public playground in the country has been opened in Kiryas Joel, the ultra-Orthodox enclave in Monroe, NY.

According to YourJewishNews.com, Kiryas Joel’s Satmar Hasidic community has built on 283 acres on the city’s outskirts a playground that completely separates boys from girls. More accurately, the space is divided into four areas: one for fathers with their sons; one for mothers with their daughters; one for boys, and one for girls. The sections are located a considerable distance apart from one another. There are also separate walking trails for males and females.

This is WORSE than Saudi Arabia. See photos of a playground in Saudi Arabia below and compare.

 

Satmar playground in New York- signs say “Boys Here” and “Girls Here”

The article says (unhelpfully)  that itt is unclear whether public funds were used but mentions that the mayor approved the funding.  Seems like something crying out for investigative journalism.

Also, this is touted as North America’s first sex-segregated playground. But less than 100 years ago most school yards were sex-segregated and there were separate entrances for boys and girls.

Is Robinson’s Arch the Western Wall?

Shansky will propose a new Egalitarian prayer space at the Western Wall (Forward.)

Under the proposal, sources said, the area now known as Robinson’s Arch on the southern end of the Wall will be greatly expanded to create a prayer space roughly equivalent to the existing men’s and women’s sections. Egalitarian prayer is currently permitted at the Arch, which is an archaeological site, but that prayer is only available at limited times and with an entrance fee. The expectation is that the enlarged space would be free and open around the clock, as the Kotel is now, but that could not be confirmed.

Given that the proposed Egalitarian section does not include the  the iconic Western Wall that is in all the photos or in people’s mind’s eye (like the 1967 liberation photo). Would the Orthodox accept a newer prayer space ?

Getting in the mood for Pesach

My favourite way to get inspired for my seders is  watching the classic Freedom Seder  which took place on April 4, 1969, the first anniversary of the death of Dr. Martin Luther King, the third night of Passover.

Hundreds of people of varied racial and religious communities gathered in a Black church in the heart of Washington DC to celebrate the original Freedom Seder. For the first time, it [explicitly] intertwined the ancient story of liberation from Pharaoh with the story of Black America’s struggle for liberation, and the liberation of other peoples as well.

Enjoy a young Arthur Waskcow and Rabbi Balfour Brickner and Rev. Channing Phillips. Rev. Phillips tells abortion jokes. It was filmed by the CBC. (Yes you have your 1960s era well funded Canadian public broadcaster to thank for this historic footage.)

You can get a copy of the haggadah in pdf here.

If anyone wants a copy of my current haggadah, let me know.

Quinoa and Orthodox Judaism’s relevancy problem Israel News | Haaretz Daily Newspaper

Quinoa and Orthodox Judaism’s relevancy problem Israel News | Haaretz Daily Newspaper.

The question of long-term vitality of Judaism may ultimately come down to the question of relevance and whether Orthodox Jews are seen more as keepers of the faith or gatekeepers of the faith

But the question of long-term vitality of Judaism may ultimately come down to the question of relevance and whether Orthodox Jews are seen more as keepers of the faith or gatekeepers of the faith.As social attitudes are modernizing, Jewish life is struggling to keep pace. Specifically, Reform, Reconstructionist and Conservative Judaism are working overtime to ensure that contemporary attitudes – about the sanctity of gender equality, the dignity of sexual identity and care and responsibility for the earth and its environment – are matched by practice. 

What Does the Future Hold for Gay Synagogues? – Tablet Magazine

What Does the Future Hold for Gay Synagogues? – Tablet Magazine.

LGBT congregations have finally come into their own, providing a home for the Jewish community’s LGBT members and their friends and families in cities both large and small. But the increasing acceptance around gay issues in mainstream synagogues, from Reconstructionist to Reform to Conservative, and even on the fringes of Modern Orthodoxy, means that these synagogues are no longer the only option for LGBT Jews. So, the lines that once seemed so clear have begun to blur: LGBT synagogues in places like Cleveland and Atlanta are merging or outgrowing their original designation and drawing a more diverse membership, even as mainstream congregations sign up new gay members and become more diverse.

This well-written article in the Tablet is worth the read. It asks what happens to gay shuls as “mainstream” shuls become more welcoming and as gay shuls welcome straight members who like their progressive outlook.

I think gay shuls are going to be with us for the forseeable future, even as GLBT  people become increasingly active and welcomed in “mainstream” shuls. But I think they will also become less popular.

Just like women who grow up in egalitarian shuls (hi!) have less interest in women’s prayer/Rosh Hodesh groups, GLBT people who grow up in welcoming Jewish environments are going to have less interest in gay shuls.

But women’s prayer groups are still with us – and gay shuls will be too. Because equality is still not the norm.